Wednesday, July 12, 2017

DON'T BE A "SUGAR DADDY" TO MOONSHINERS!

"Take it from me, Sacky, the living sack!"

This isn't technically a comic book nor, despite what the cover promises, is it even remotely a true story of moonshine. That comic is just waiting to happen, in fact. "A History of Moonshine in America." Let me write that one down, copyright me, thanks.

The booklet, provided by the U.S.Treasury Department, the IRS and the early form of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms -- in other words, "the revenoors!" -- identifies an important chain in the defeat of rogue moonshiners operating in the United States. Specifically -- deny them their sugar*! All right, backwoods still operators, no sugar for you! Straight to bed!

*Where's the obligatory Homer Simpson joke? I instituted a ban on those. 

The first order of business is to identify the bootleggers in question -- but don't get complacent, as the reality of their identities might blow you away!

How did that fat guy even get into his moonshiner costume?

Luckily, moonshiners have an Achilles heel, a kryptonite of their own, if you will. And that is, like the humble bee, they must have sugar to survive. But you can deny them basic dignity and save the day!

Famous for turning down huge sums of money, shopkeepers.

Possibly what's best about the book is that they begin it by teaching you how to be a bootlegger. Thanks, U.S. Government, now to go find a shopkeeper who will almost undoubtedly sell me a shit-ton of sugar!

Mostly that the revenoors keep trespassin' on muh property!

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